My love affair with sugar began when I was young ... it was a reward for good behavior ... a treat when I was sick ... a guest at every celebration ... in fact, to be honest, I totally blame my mother! One day when I was home sick from school Mum made a lemon meringue tart. It was intended to be for dessert that night, but we just had to try some ... and then try some more ... well, by then, there wasn't enough left to share, so we ate the lot!! Sorry Mum, that was our little secret and now I have told everyone!
I thought about sugar as I read Genesis 4:7: 'If you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.'
I know eating sugar is not a sin per se but I did feel that God asked me to give up sugar way back in 2009. It was before I ever heard of the book 'Sweet Poison' and before it
became 'the' trendy thing to do.
What a strange thought! "Lord, is that you?" I had to research the effects of sugar on our bodies to get some understanding ... hmmm, I WAS depressed and research showed that sugar makes that worse!
2009 was quite a year! The effects of menopause coupled with a broken heart had taken their toll. I would get up in the morning and turn on the television. Some days I would just sit there staring at the screen not caring what rolled by ... Sunrise ... Morning Show ... Larry Lawnmower ... Larry Lawnmower? What are you doing? But I seemed powerless to move. I would have lunch with Dr Phil and then hang out with Oprah. I joked with my daughter about my TV friends, but it wasn't funny ... I had totally lost myself!
I know eating sugar is not a sin per se but I did feel that God asked me to give up sugar way back in 2009. It was before I ever heard of the book 'Sweet Poison' and before it
became 'the' trendy thing to do.
What a strange thought! "Lord, is that you?" I had to research the effects of sugar on our bodies to get some understanding ... hmmm, I WAS depressed and research showed that sugar makes that worse!
2009 was quite a year! The effects of menopause coupled with a broken heart had taken their toll. I would get up in the morning and turn on the television. Some days I would just sit there staring at the screen not caring what rolled by ... Sunrise ... Morning Show ... Larry Lawnmower ... Larry Lawnmower? What are you doing? But I seemed powerless to move. I would have lunch with Dr Phil and then hang out with Oprah. I joked with my daughter about my TV friends, but it wasn't funny ... I had totally lost myself!
What was happening to me? Reading through an old journal was quite revealing ...
The preceding years had been difficult. I felt disappointed with God, let down. My son had suffered a huge rejection which was the final straw for him, leaving him depressed and rebellious. My daughter's beautiful smile hid a world of pain. I felt like I had served God and ministered to other people's children (at the Youth Shelter run by our church) and God hadn't looked after mine. I was devastated and my trust in God was shaken. I was just going through the motions.
Where I once envisioned a wonderful future in God, an exciting adventure seeing people healed and set free through the ministry I dreamt of, I then felt like 'the has been who has never been'. "The time has passed, my ministry never happened and now it is too late" I wrote.
The preceding years had been difficult. I felt disappointed with God, let down. My son had suffered a huge rejection which was the final straw for him, leaving him depressed and rebellious. My daughter's beautiful smile hid a world of pain. I felt like I had served God and ministered to other people's children (at the Youth Shelter run by our church) and God hadn't looked after mine. I was devastated and my trust in God was shaken. I was just going through the motions.
Where I once envisioned a wonderful future in God, an exciting adventure seeing people healed and set free through the ministry I dreamt of, I then felt like 'the has been who has never been'. "The time has passed, my ministry never happened and now it is too late" I wrote.
Another entry mentions that I was working through a book called 'Soul Matters for Women' with exercises to complete. I was required to write a letter affirming my love for and belief in myself and to remind myself of how much God loves me. The problem was that I didn't love myself ... 'Dear Sue, I have found it a bit hard to love you lately. It has been easier for me to focus on your failings. I remember a time when I was confident of my love for you and God's love for you, when I believed in you, but it seems so long ago. I used to have great hopes and plans for your future but now I just see you as one big loser.' I was pretty sure God agreed with me.
I sought comfort from my old friend 'sugar' who reminded me of rewards, treats, celebrations ... sweet moments and memories of happier times spent with my mother.
I sought comfort from my old friend 'sugar' who reminded me of rewards, treats, celebrations ... sweet moments and memories of happier times spent with my mother.
Since 2009 I have purged my body of sugar a few times only to give in to it again. Once that sugar is back in my system, it is a struggle to start over. I am addicted to it! It may not be sinful but it is certainly eager to control me, so I must subdue it and be its master! It is time to say goodbye to sugar!
Genesis 6:22 reads 'So Noah did exactly as God had commanded him.' Noah couldn't possibly have fully understood what God was asking him to do, but he did it anyway.
I was full of questions when I thought I heard that wee small voice say 'Give up sugar'. Because I didn't understand, I questioned whether God really said it, but what if it's more about the act of obedience than the reason why?
Noah's obedience to God in the 'little' things meant He could trust Noah with 'huge' things. Noah was listening and willing to obey even things he didn't understand. Noah trusted God. They trusted each other.
I'm happy to say God and I trust each other again too. I am grateful that He doesn't leave us without hope.
Lord, please help me to give up sugar once and for all, as representative of my being an over-comer ... of being able to subdue and master it for You ... just because You said so. Help me Lord to see that we can do this together. (And it would be nice if I lost a few kilos in the process!) Luv Sue xx"